Notorious B.I.G. the King himself, told us Mo' Money Mo Problems; being broke all the time, is definitely the way to go. Let's show you how...
Tip 1: Once you receive your first salary after not having for a long time, start doing everything you watched people who had money do. E.g. pop bottles of champagne, take 24hrs Car Hire…
Tip 2: Buy all the aso-ebi’s for events so that you can be like Banky W and be in Encomium every week and so City People wouldn’t leave you alone.
Tip 3: Go for parties every weekend, and spray money to everyone who as much as looks at you.
Tip 4: Pay for everything including for someone to wash your underwear, isn’t that what people with money do?
Tip 5: Tomorrow will look after itself, so endeavor to spend your last kobo on things you don’t need before the clock strikes midnight.
Tip 6: Follow all the latest trends like buying expensive human hair, and designer shoes even though your salary can clearly not afford it.
Tip 7: Do everything wrong to make sure you’re a regular LASTMA customer…in fact, once you receive your salary, just hand it over to the first LASTMA official you see.
Tip 8: Try to impress everyone around you by making sure that you buy something new everyday, whether you need it or not.
Tip 9: Don’t give your hard-earned money to people in need o!! All those people that say Givers Never Lack don’t know what they’re talking about.
A wise person once said, "Being Broke is Childish"...nuff said!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
How to be a Business Mugu
Who wants to be a Business Mogul when you can be a Business Mugu...
Tip 1: If business is slow or just really not working for you, blame it on the weather, the market, or better still; the recession…instead of thinking that maybe you’re just not doing something right.
Tip 2: What’s the point in setting goals? They are never really actualized anyway!! Look if success would come, it would come, all this goal setting thing is not for me abeg!!
Tip 3: Do business the same way your ancestors who were trading by barter used to do it, and make sure you fight against any new way of selling your product or service.
Tip 4: It’s all about the Benjamins baby!! So get so caught up in making the paper and forget all about quality.
Tip 5: ‘The only thing that is constant is…Crisis’. So when you have crises in your businesses, instead of looking for a way forward, start commanding all your enemies to die by fire.
Tip 6: Let your response to any suggestion of risk-taking be, ‘Abeg o I no fit Shout!!’
Tip 7: Whenever you try something that fails, give up immediately; pack all your load and start heading back to the village.
Tip 8: Your business mantra should be, ‘Tomorrow’s business will come tomorrow’. So make no future plans for your business.
Tip 9: A bad guy doesn’t need to announce his presence. So as a bad guy, don’t tell anyone about your business o!! They’ll come and find you…
Now you're well on your way....
Tip 1: If business is slow or just really not working for you, blame it on the weather, the market, or better still; the recession…instead of thinking that maybe you’re just not doing something right.
Tip 2: What’s the point in setting goals? They are never really actualized anyway!! Look if success would come, it would come, all this goal setting thing is not for me abeg!!
Tip 3: Do business the same way your ancestors who were trading by barter used to do it, and make sure you fight against any new way of selling your product or service.
Tip 4: It’s all about the Benjamins baby!! So get so caught up in making the paper and forget all about quality.
Tip 5: ‘The only thing that is constant is…Crisis’. So when you have crises in your businesses, instead of looking for a way forward, start commanding all your enemies to die by fire.
Tip 6: Let your response to any suggestion of risk-taking be, ‘Abeg o I no fit Shout!!’
Tip 7: Whenever you try something that fails, give up immediately; pack all your load and start heading back to the village.
Tip 8: Your business mantra should be, ‘Tomorrow’s business will come tomorrow’. So make no future plans for your business.
Tip 9: A bad guy doesn’t need to announce his presence. So as a bad guy, don’t tell anyone about your business o!! They’ll come and find you…
Now you're well on your way....
Thursday, September 3, 2009
How to be a Player Hater
A player hater according to the Urban Dictionary is simply someone who talks bad about another person because that other person has got something they don’t have.
We all know the sound of a hater: ‘That girl on TV is too short, but you don’t miss her show.
‘Nigerian music is rubbish’, but you don’t stop singing along.
The hater wants to be where the person they're hating is, so will do everything possible to pull them down while they’re there!!
These are our 9 solid tips on how you can join the Haters' Club:
Tip 1: You can’t effectively player hate if you don’t know everything about the person you’re hating, so you must get your Stalker’s gear on.
Tip 2: On the flip side, refuse to understand anything about what the person is doing, but be the biggest critic. Then claim that it’s fraud or rituals when the person starts counting millions…
Tip 3: Constantly be in the face of the person you’re hating, telling them how bad they are at what they do.
Tip 4: Go and make an extensive research of everyone who is doing something similar to what the person is doing, so that when he tells you how much he’s achieved, you can show him someone who’s done more.
Tip 5: Obsess over the different ways you can make the world see that they don’t deserve to be where they are and YOU should be there.
Tip 6: When the person you’re hating makes a mistake, make sure that even people in remote villages get to hear about it.
Tip 7: Make fun of every effort the person makes to try to get ahead of their game.
Tip 8: Take the Classic Haters' Approach by picking a fight with the person whenever you come into contact with them.
Tip 9: (as given by Terry tha Rapman) Get on Facebook and whenenver you see people's status updates celebrating something, put up a snide comment!!
There you have it!! Our 9 tips on How to be a Player Hater!!
Quick Reminder though: DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME!!!!
We all know the sound of a hater: ‘That girl on TV is too short, but you don’t miss her show.
‘Nigerian music is rubbish’, but you don’t stop singing along.
The hater wants to be where the person they're hating is, so will do everything possible to pull them down while they’re there!!
These are our 9 solid tips on how you can join the Haters' Club:
Tip 1: You can’t effectively player hate if you don’t know everything about the person you’re hating, so you must get your Stalker’s gear on.
Tip 2: On the flip side, refuse to understand anything about what the person is doing, but be the biggest critic. Then claim that it’s fraud or rituals when the person starts counting millions…
Tip 3: Constantly be in the face of the person you’re hating, telling them how bad they are at what they do.
Tip 4: Go and make an extensive research of everyone who is doing something similar to what the person is doing, so that when he tells you how much he’s achieved, you can show him someone who’s done more.
Tip 5: Obsess over the different ways you can make the world see that they don’t deserve to be where they are and YOU should be there.
Tip 6: When the person you’re hating makes a mistake, make sure that even people in remote villages get to hear about it.
Tip 7: Make fun of every effort the person makes to try to get ahead of their game.
Tip 8: Take the Classic Haters' Approach by picking a fight with the person whenever you come into contact with them.
Tip 9: (as given by Terry tha Rapman) Get on Facebook and whenenver you see people's status updates celebrating something, put up a snide comment!!
There you have it!! Our 9 tips on How to be a Player Hater!!
Quick Reminder though: DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE GAME!!!!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Introducing: Hater-Ade
It's the new drink that is exclusively for Player Haters!! Brought to the knowledge of the How-to Class by none other than Terry tha Rapman aka Joe Spasm!!
Terry joined us on the show today to share tips on How to be a Player Hater...
Cool down Haters, with an ice cold glass of Hater-Ade!!
Terry joined us on the show today to share tips on How to be a Player Hater...
Cool down Haters, with an ice cold glass of Hater-Ade!!
Monday, August 24, 2009
How to be a Music Superstar with No Fans
Everywhere you turn to, there is a Music Superstar.
The okada guy who carried you sometime, the aboki down your road, the babe that sells you fresh agege bread in the morning, and even the Traffic Controller who uses Michael Jackson's moon walk to control traffic, are all Superstars in their minds or aspiring to be.
The mark of a true Music Superstar is in his/her fanbase...or lack of it!!
Today, we are sharing tips on How to be a Music Superstar with No Fans:
Tip 1: The first rule of this game is to be very selfish; your work MUST and I repeat MUST not have any benefit for the people who would listen to it; in other words, Sing for Yourself.
Tip 2: During a concert, throw yourself into the crowd and when they part like the Red Sea and you fall hard on the ground, stand up and fight all of them for not catching you. Being a Rock Star is a no-nonsense business o!!
Tip 3: Even if one person by mistake likes your music and tries to tell you, accuse them of mocking you and being an enemy of progress. What?? Don’t you know that some of these so-called fans are spies in disguise?
Tip 4: Release a song in which you attack the fans and tell them how foolish they are for not buying your albums, but they would instead buy all the nonsense in the industry.
Tip 5: When one fan feels sorry for you and decides to ask for your autograph just to make you happy, chase him with cutlass, asking him whether you look like you’re desperate for fans.
Tip 6: Make-up a back story for yourself that the few fans you have would eventually find out is all a lie. E.g. telling them you're the Prince of Konibaje Kingdom who gave up the throne to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. Then they'll find out there is no Konibaje Kingdom!!
Tip 7: Release lyrics that can turn anyone who listens into suicidal stalkers a la Eminem's Stan; that way, there would be no-one left to become a fan.
Tip 8: It is a taboo to have a unique style: Copy everything and everyone that is popular.
Tip 9: Finally, make it your life’s work to go around the world preaching to students like you How to be a Music Superstar with no fans.
There are our 9 solid tips...Go and become the next Music Superstar...with or without fans!!!
The okada guy who carried you sometime, the aboki down your road, the babe that sells you fresh agege bread in the morning, and even the Traffic Controller who uses Michael Jackson's moon walk to control traffic, are all Superstars in their minds or aspiring to be.
The mark of a true Music Superstar is in his/her fanbase...or lack of it!!
Today, we are sharing tips on How to be a Music Superstar with No Fans:
Tip 1: The first rule of this game is to be very selfish; your work MUST and I repeat MUST not have any benefit for the people who would listen to it; in other words, Sing for Yourself.
Tip 2: During a concert, throw yourself into the crowd and when they part like the Red Sea and you fall hard on the ground, stand up and fight all of them for not catching you. Being a Rock Star is a no-nonsense business o!!
Tip 3: Even if one person by mistake likes your music and tries to tell you, accuse them of mocking you and being an enemy of progress. What?? Don’t you know that some of these so-called fans are spies in disguise?
Tip 4: Release a song in which you attack the fans and tell them how foolish they are for not buying your albums, but they would instead buy all the nonsense in the industry.
Tip 5: When one fan feels sorry for you and decides to ask for your autograph just to make you happy, chase him with cutlass, asking him whether you look like you’re desperate for fans.
Tip 6: Make-up a back story for yourself that the few fans you have would eventually find out is all a lie. E.g. telling them you're the Prince of Konibaje Kingdom who gave up the throne to pursue his dream of becoming a musician. Then they'll find out there is no Konibaje Kingdom!!
Tip 7: Release lyrics that can turn anyone who listens into suicidal stalkers a la Eminem's Stan; that way, there would be no-one left to become a fan.
Tip 8: It is a taboo to have a unique style: Copy everything and everyone that is popular.
Tip 9: Finally, make it your life’s work to go around the world preaching to students like you How to be a Music Superstar with no fans.
There are our 9 solid tips...Go and become the next Music Superstar...with or without fans!!!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Wannabe Young Slangs
One of the funniest things we’ve encountered is when an elderly person is trying to appear youthful and funky by using slangs that were the ish in their day to try to blend in with the younger crowd.
They can end up saying something like ‘You’re looking jivey’!!!
I mean, who the heck says ‘jivey’ in today’s world!! LOL
Do you know of any other wannabe young slangs?
Please feel free to share…
They can end up saying something like ‘You’re looking jivey’!!!
I mean, who the heck says ‘jivey’ in today’s world!! LOL
Do you know of any other wannabe young slangs?
Please feel free to share…
How to look 10 times older than your real Age
Imagine walking into a room in which people you went to school with are present and they see you, quickly adjust their position and say ‘Good evening Sir/Ma’, even curtsying or prostrating in the process.
You look around wondering if one of your parents has followed you to this place, but there is no-one there and you realize with horror that it’s you they are greeting as they would greet an elder.
You tell them, ‘Ahn na me now, me and you share seat for Oshodi High School!!’
They argue with you that you’re just claiming to be young that the person you say you are is their age mate, but you ‘plenty regimes don change hands since you enter this world’.
Chai!!!
Anyway if that kind of thing excites you, then you’re at the right place! We have some ground-breaking tips that if practiced, will in a matter of days get you looking 10 times older than your real age.
Enjoy…
Tip 1: Why dye your hair, when you can worry? Worry the fastest way to turn grey….Worry!!
Tip 2: A wise person once said, ‘Activity isn’t always productivity’…um..did I say wise? Sorry that’s the motto for the Lazy Association of Nigeria (LAN). Any form of physical activity is dangerous to your looking ten times your real age!! So sit and stare all day!!
Tip 3: Rub bleaching creams and go out under the sun to roast!!
Tip 4: The past is only called the past because it is…well…past!! Live in the past through the clothes you wear, hairstyles you do and slangs you use…
Tip 5: Create your own wrinkles…strong your face all the time!!
Tip 6: Disapprove of everything and everyone…especially the ‘youths of today’ and let that disapproval show in your face at all times by having a permanently turned down mouth.
Tip 7: Carry all the troubles of the world on your shoulder. Hunchback is the P!!
Tip 8: This tip is for the ladies- Cover your face with 6 inches of powder, shave off all your eyebrows then draw a curved line that reaches your ears and wear lipstick that looks like war paint!! If that doesn’t get you looking ten times your age, nothing else will.
Tip 9: This last tip is for the guys: You have been called to lead the Nigerian people out of mental slavery!! So grow a Moses beard and carry a Don Jazzy stick.
Those are our 9 revolutionary tips on How to look 10 times older than your real age!!
We wonder where Miley Cyrus, singer and star of the hit TV show, Hannah Montana, who is aged 16, got her tips from.
She was recently mistaken for a 40year old woman by a shop attendant who even tried to sell her anti-wrinkle cream.
Miley Cyrus
The same woman mistook her bodyguard for her husband and her 8year old little sister for her daughter!!!
Poor Miley, see you’re not really having the best of both worlds there!!
As always, the How-to Class provides never been shared tips that will surely change your life.
Till we come again to serve you with more tips, keep being different!!!
You look around wondering if one of your parents has followed you to this place, but there is no-one there and you realize with horror that it’s you they are greeting as they would greet an elder.
You tell them, ‘Ahn na me now, me and you share seat for Oshodi High School!!’
They argue with you that you’re just claiming to be young that the person you say you are is their age mate, but you ‘plenty regimes don change hands since you enter this world’.
Chai!!!
Anyway if that kind of thing excites you, then you’re at the right place! We have some ground-breaking tips that if practiced, will in a matter of days get you looking 10 times older than your real age.
Enjoy…
Tip 1: Why dye your hair, when you can worry? Worry the fastest way to turn grey….Worry!!
Tip 2: A wise person once said, ‘Activity isn’t always productivity’…um..did I say wise? Sorry that’s the motto for the Lazy Association of Nigeria (LAN). Any form of physical activity is dangerous to your looking ten times your real age!! So sit and stare all day!!
Tip 3: Rub bleaching creams and go out under the sun to roast!!
Tip 4: The past is only called the past because it is…well…past!! Live in the past through the clothes you wear, hairstyles you do and slangs you use…
Tip 5: Create your own wrinkles…strong your face all the time!!
Tip 6: Disapprove of everything and everyone…especially the ‘youths of today’ and let that disapproval show in your face at all times by having a permanently turned down mouth.
Tip 7: Carry all the troubles of the world on your shoulder. Hunchback is the P!!
Tip 8: This tip is for the ladies- Cover your face with 6 inches of powder, shave off all your eyebrows then draw a curved line that reaches your ears and wear lipstick that looks like war paint!! If that doesn’t get you looking ten times your age, nothing else will.
Tip 9: This last tip is for the guys: You have been called to lead the Nigerian people out of mental slavery!! So grow a Moses beard and carry a Don Jazzy stick.
Those are our 9 revolutionary tips on How to look 10 times older than your real age!!
We wonder where Miley Cyrus, singer and star of the hit TV show, Hannah Montana, who is aged 16, got her tips from.
She was recently mistaken for a 40year old woman by a shop attendant who even tried to sell her anti-wrinkle cream.
Miley Cyrus
The same woman mistook her bodyguard for her husband and her 8year old little sister for her daughter!!!
Poor Miley, see you’re not really having the best of both worlds there!!
As always, the How-to Class provides never been shared tips that will surely change your life.
Till we come again to serve you with more tips, keep being different!!!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
How to Use Your Money to Make Enemies
1. Plan a huge outing with your friends; you’re all seated around a table, place a large order of food and drink for yourself; eat your food alone, while they all watch longingly.
2. While your friend is celebrating their new Tokunbo car; say ‘Oh that reminds me’, and place a phone call to a car dealer, ordering for the latest, brand-new version of the same car, to add to your fleet.
3. When you drive your brand new car into your neighborhood, be sure to splash muddy water all over the first set of people you come across.
4. Walk into a club during this time of recession, order bottles of champagne which you’ll pop loudly and pour all over yourself
5. When you’re at an event with a friend or family member who is complaining about not being able to pay their bills, bring out the exact amount of money they need from your pocket, and start spraying people with it.
6. Tell your friends who stuck with you when you were broke, that they have to understand that your levels have changed, so you need to move with the big boys
Blinged-out Barack
7. When you’re having a conversation and anyone disagrees with you, tell them, ‘What do you know, will you come on and shut up until you make some money’.
8. At work, tell your subordinates, ‘In 10 years, with a lot of hard work, prayer and fasting, you can earn as much as I did 10years ago’.
9. When your friend shows you a new watch he/she just bought, you scream in horror and say, ‘such cheap things can give you skin allergies’.
2. While your friend is celebrating their new Tokunbo car; say ‘Oh that reminds me’, and place a phone call to a car dealer, ordering for the latest, brand-new version of the same car, to add to your fleet.
3. When you drive your brand new car into your neighborhood, be sure to splash muddy water all over the first set of people you come across.
4. Walk into a club during this time of recession, order bottles of champagne which you’ll pop loudly and pour all over yourself
5. When you’re at an event with a friend or family member who is complaining about not being able to pay their bills, bring out the exact amount of money they need from your pocket, and start spraying people with it.
6. Tell your friends who stuck with you when you were broke, that they have to understand that your levels have changed, so you need to move with the big boys
Blinged-out Barack
7. When you’re having a conversation and anyone disagrees with you, tell them, ‘What do you know, will you come on and shut up until you make some money’.
8. At work, tell your subordinates, ‘In 10 years, with a lot of hard work, prayer and fasting, you can earn as much as I did 10years ago’.
9. When your friend shows you a new watch he/she just bought, you scream in horror and say, ‘such cheap things can give you skin allergies’.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
How to Make Your Friends Want to Jump Off 3rd Mainland Bridge
Tip 1: Every conversation must be about you, on no account should you give them the chance to be heard; except when you pause to ask what they think about your issues
Tip 2: Make sure you top every thing they tell you with a greater experience of your own just to show that you have it better. E.g. “I just got a great job”, you say “Me I’ve been getting great jobs since..”
Tip 3: Let every word that proceeds out of thy mouth be a complaint about anything from the weather to the size of your head
Tip 4: Like Steve Urkel,
let your presence around them be known by everything getting destroyed. The plates breaking, the roof falling in…
Tip 5: Always borrow stuff from them and never return; then one day go to a friend and ask ‘Can I borrow you for 10minutes?’
Tip 6: Whenever you want their attention, no matter how busy they are, poke them hard in their sides and just keep poking
Tip 7: Sing everything to them; You’re hungry- sing it. You’re angry- Sing it. Even sing your burps and farts
Tip 8: Turn every conversation into an argument in which you are clearly not on point. Just argue for the sake of arguing.
Tip 9: Whenever you’re together, preach to them all the time and try to force your beliefs down their throats. Then insist that if they don't follow your way, they'll all perish!!
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
How To Make a Marriage Proposal that will get you Dumped- Audience Comments
Tell her u dont really lv her but u want to marry her becos she is beautiful and u want to av beautiful children
After d IV have been produced,on d wedding day tel her u want 2 wash ur dirty cloths
Take her out let knw dat every thing u have are borrwed dat u will return dem after the marrgage simple M.c kofejo
Tell her dt u just confirmd from ur harbalist 2marry her.gbenga williams
Hi tosin, find out so many tins abt her includin her character. B4 she says anytin, u'l say it then u tel her dat: can u see dat we av many tins in common, then u take her to an eatery she likes best. She'l be happy and surprisd dat u think alike. THE DEAL IS DONE. Jummy 4rm sango.
Jst take her out for diner,buy a cup of ice-cream then empty it on her head.,then ax her,do u love me..tope frm ikd...
Hi Tosyn(dis is Edoyak) Dis topic e be as e get! Invite her ova 2 ur place while u equally invite anoda lady she knows u had smtg wit in d past, then hav her wait while u go in2 a private place wit d oda lady. Afta a few hrs emerge and then say u just wantd 2 b sure she is d 1 u want 2 marry!
Hi Tosin.Propose to her but b4 she replys,tel her rudely 2get it in2 her thick skul dt she suld b ready 2av 4oda wives.Benny 4rm Ifo.
Tel her dat afta 5yrs u'l use her 4 money rituals so dat her children wldnt suffer.4rm Image L.B I did it last yr & it workd.
Tel her dat u both must mary&dat she must sponsor d marage.both famly wl b introduced on d wedng dy,wea agbda insted of suit keke they wl rid on paul ikorodu
Tell her to sign a 4 year deal so that when d contract is xpired she can go. Mikel 4rm aguda
Invite her 2a gadrin,n make sure u eat enuf beans b4 lvin home then produce a nasty fart evry time u mention d word love.gbenga williams
Hi tosin,d guy shuld take d lady outside were al his friends er nd give a dirty hot slap nd den ask er 2 marry him
Hi tosin, find out so many tins abt her includin her character. B4 she says anytin, u'l say it then u tel her dat: can u see dat we av many tins in common, then u take her to an eatery she likes best. She'l be happy and surprisd dat u think alike. THE DEAL IS DONE. Jummy 4rm sango.
just call ur girl and tell her let me take care of u before u are outdated,before ur market goes down.kunle
Jude 4rm ojota tip 1 always tell her how much u hate her,2 & if u get marriad dat u ar goin to strangle her . Tip 3 tell her u have 45 wives 101 children aready
Tell her that though ur mother looks more younger than her, ask her will u marry me. Mikel from aguda
Just tel d lady in a proud way, 'just tink about it, and u'll realize dat i deserve 2 av u' and she'll b so disgusted at ur arrogance nd pride...and u'l b dumped lik a piece of rubish even if she liked u. A guy once tried dat wit me. Alice in 1daland.
Just say marry me b4 u get an answer tell her she can go to hell dt there are so many girls outside willing to accept your proposal
:-)Jummy:d guy should invite her 2 his house, look 4 a reason 2 bet her i mean fightin, den shout at her askin her 2 marry him
After promisin abstinence til marriage,wen prposin tak urfriends wit u &den after she says yes av ur way wit her wit ur frends den tell her it's d devil. Funmi
Take the lady to a bear parlour and tell u love her bcos she is 39 and u her 28
How far tosin,here is a tip on how 2 propose,take her to dinner putting on agbada and shout on top of ur voice baby i want marry talk ur own now"omo if say na me b d girl i go just leave d guy waka.mayowa 4rm araromi."
HI TOSIN, 4 A GUY TO PROPOSE TO A GIRL AND GET DUMPED IS BY SIMPLY TELLING THE GIRL THAT HE ONLY PROPOSED JUST TO MAKE HER FRIEND JEALOUS COS SHE REFUSED HIS PROPOSAL. MARY FROM AIRPORT.
After d IV have been produced,on d wedding day tel her u want 2 wash ur dirty cloths
Take her out let knw dat every thing u have are borrwed dat u will return dem after the marrgage simple M.c kofejo
Tell her dt u just confirmd from ur harbalist 2marry her.gbenga williams
Hi tosin, find out so many tins abt her includin her character. B4 she says anytin, u'l say it then u tel her dat: can u see dat we av many tins in common, then u take her to an eatery she likes best. She'l be happy and surprisd dat u think alike. THE DEAL IS DONE. Jummy 4rm sango.
Jst take her out for diner,buy a cup of ice-cream then empty it on her head.,then ax her,do u love me..tope frm ikd...
Hi Tosyn(dis is Edoyak) Dis topic e be as e get! Invite her ova 2 ur place while u equally invite anoda lady she knows u had smtg wit in d past, then hav her wait while u go in2 a private place wit d oda lady. Afta a few hrs emerge and then say u just wantd 2 b sure she is d 1 u want 2 marry!
Hi Tosin.Propose to her but b4 she replys,tel her rudely 2get it in2 her thick skul dt she suld b ready 2av 4oda wives.Benny 4rm Ifo.
Tel her dat afta 5yrs u'l use her 4 money rituals so dat her children wldnt suffer.4rm Image L.B I did it last yr & it workd.
Tel her dat u both must mary&dat she must sponsor d marage.both famly wl b introduced on d wedng dy,wea agbda insted of suit keke they wl rid on paul ikorodu
Tell her to sign a 4 year deal so that when d contract is xpired she can go. Mikel 4rm aguda
Invite her 2a gadrin,n make sure u eat enuf beans b4 lvin home then produce a nasty fart evry time u mention d word love.gbenga williams
Hi tosin,d guy shuld take d lady outside were al his friends er nd give a dirty hot slap nd den ask er 2 marry him
Hi tosin, find out so many tins abt her includin her character. B4 she says anytin, u'l say it then u tel her dat: can u see dat we av many tins in common, then u take her to an eatery she likes best. She'l be happy and surprisd dat u think alike. THE DEAL IS DONE. Jummy 4rm sango.
just call ur girl and tell her let me take care of u before u are outdated,before ur market goes down.kunle
Jude 4rm ojota tip 1 always tell her how much u hate her,2 & if u get marriad dat u ar goin to strangle her . Tip 3 tell her u have 45 wives 101 children aready
Tell her that though ur mother looks more younger than her, ask her will u marry me. Mikel from aguda
Just tel d lady in a proud way, 'just tink about it, and u'll realize dat i deserve 2 av u' and she'll b so disgusted at ur arrogance nd pride...and u'l b dumped lik a piece of rubish even if she liked u. A guy once tried dat wit me. Alice in 1daland.
Just say marry me b4 u get an answer tell her she can go to hell dt there are so many girls outside willing to accept your proposal
:-)Jummy:d guy should invite her 2 his house, look 4 a reason 2 bet her i mean fightin, den shout at her askin her 2 marry him
After promisin abstinence til marriage,wen prposin tak urfriends wit u &den after she says yes av ur way wit her wit ur frends den tell her it's d devil. Funmi
Take the lady to a bear parlour and tell u love her bcos she is 39 and u her 28
How far tosin,here is a tip on how 2 propose,take her to dinner putting on agbada and shout on top of ur voice baby i want marry talk ur own now"omo if say na me b d girl i go just leave d guy waka.mayowa 4rm araromi."
HI TOSIN, 4 A GUY TO PROPOSE TO A GIRL AND GET DUMPED IS BY SIMPLY TELLING THE GIRL THAT HE ONLY PROPOSED JUST TO MAKE HER FRIEND JEALOUS COS SHE REFUSED HIS PROPOSAL. MARY FROM AIRPORT.
How To Make a Marriage Proposal that will get you Dumped
Tip 1: Angrily tell your partner, “Look I’m sick and tired of all this pressure to get married. Let’s just do this and get it over with.” When he/she looks shocked, say; “What is it because I’m not on my knees?” 
Tip 2: Produce a plastic ring you collected from your little niece and present to your partner saying, “When you prove to me that your love is not plastic, I’ll upgrade you.”
Tip 3: Search for a proposal online, then copy via email to your partner without bothering to change the name of the original person being proposed to.
Tip 4: Get creative and shoot a bad music video with lots of booty shaking and bling bling, while you sing the proposal.
Tip 5: Get all romantic by going on your knees, producing a diamond ring, and proposing with very beautiful words only to pause as you admire a passing female and begin to shout catcalls at her.
Tip 6: Tell your partner, “I’m the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you, so hold on to me now before you lose an opportunity of a lifetime”
Tip 7: Hold out a panti gold ring to your partner and complain the entire time about how much you had to spend on it. Then ask her that since she’s the one who’ll be wearing the ring why she should refund the money to you.
Tip 8: Tell your partner, “All I’m looking for is someone that’ll finally say yes to me; Will you be that one?”
Tip 9: If you propose and your partner says yes, start wailing and say “Wetin now, you no fit say no!!”
Tip 2: Produce a plastic ring you collected from your little niece and present to your partner saying, “When you prove to me that your love is not plastic, I’ll upgrade you.”
Tip 3: Search for a proposal online, then copy via email to your partner without bothering to change the name of the original person being proposed to.
Tip 4: Get creative and shoot a bad music video with lots of booty shaking and bling bling, while you sing the proposal.
Tip 5: Get all romantic by going on your knees, producing a diamond ring, and proposing with very beautiful words only to pause as you admire a passing female and begin to shout catcalls at her.
Tip 6: Tell your partner, “I’m the best thing that’s ever going to happen to you, so hold on to me now before you lose an opportunity of a lifetime”
Tip 7: Hold out a panti gold ring to your partner and complain the entire time about how much you had to spend on it. Then ask her that since she’s the one who’ll be wearing the ring why she should refund the money to you.
Tip 8: Tell your partner, “All I’m looking for is someone that’ll finally say yes to me; Will you be that one?”
Tip 9: If you propose and your partner says yes, start wailing and say “Wetin now, you no fit say no!!”
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
How To Be the House Guest from Hell
Tip 1: Barge into the house in such a way that everyone will think its robbers and scatter.
Tip 2: Walk onto the nice carpet or shiny floor with your dirty shoes; then fall on the couch and place your filthy feet on it. If anyone looks at you funny, ask them if they’ve never seen a person resting before.
Tip 3: Go into the toilet and make loud noises that will shake the house. When you come out, announce to everyone that for their own safety they shouldn’t enter there for the next one week.
Tip 4: Do the Natty style and arrive just as every meal is getting ready. Then say ‘I meet you well’, with a huge smile.
Tip 5: Always come visiting armed with one story or the other that even the little baby knows is a big lie
Tip 6: When you’re leaving, hide as many souvenirs as possible in your bag, inside your trousers, in your cap and even in your shoe.
Tip 7: Ask to stay for one weekend; don’t let them know that your idea of ‘a weekend’ means for the next 2 years.
Tip 8: Always start arguments and controversy, so that by the time you’re leaving, the family is throwing pots and pans at each other
Tip 9: Appoint yourself as the official broadcaster of everything that happens in the house you visit.
Tip 2: Walk onto the nice carpet or shiny floor with your dirty shoes; then fall on the couch and place your filthy feet on it. If anyone looks at you funny, ask them if they’ve never seen a person resting before.
Tip 3: Go into the toilet and make loud noises that will shake the house. When you come out, announce to everyone that for their own safety they shouldn’t enter there for the next one week.
Tip 4: Do the Natty style and arrive just as every meal is getting ready. Then say ‘I meet you well’, with a huge smile.
Tip 5: Always come visiting armed with one story or the other that even the little baby knows is a big lie
Tip 6: When you’re leaving, hide as many souvenirs as possible in your bag, inside your trousers, in your cap and even in your shoe.
Tip 7: Ask to stay for one weekend; don’t let them know that your idea of ‘a weekend’ means for the next 2 years.
Tip 8: Always start arguments and controversy, so that by the time you’re leaving, the family is throwing pots and pans at each other
Tip 9: Appoint yourself as the official broadcaster of everything that happens in the house you visit.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)