How to look 10 times older than your real Age

Imagine walking into a room in which people you went to school with are present and they see you, quickly adjust their position and say ‘Good evening Sir/Ma’, even curtsying or prostrating in the process.

You look around wondering if one of your parents has followed you to this place, but there is no-one there and you realize with horror that it’s you they are greeting as they would greet an elder.


You tell them, ‘Ahn na me now, me and you share seat for Oshodi High School!!’

They argue with you that you’re just claiming to be young that the person you say you are is their age mate, but you ‘plenty regimes don change hands since you enter this world’.


Chai!!!

Anyway if that kind of thing excites you, then you’re at the right place! We have some ground-breaking tips that if practiced, will in a matter of days get you looking 10 times older than your real age.

Enjoy…


Tip 1: Why dye your hair, when you can worry? Worry the fastest way to turn grey….Worry!!




Tip 2: A wise person once said, ‘Activity isn’t always productivity’…um..did I say wise? Sorry that’s the motto for the Lazy Association of Nigeria (LAN). Any form of physical activity is dangerous to your looking ten times your real age!! So sit and stare all day!!

Tip 3: Rub bleaching creams and go out under the sun to roast!!




Tip 4: The past is only called the past because it is…well…past!! Live in the past through the clothes you wear, hairstyles you do and slangs you use…


Tip 5: Create your own wrinkles…strong your face all the time!!


Tip 6: Disapprove of everything and everyone…especially the ‘youths of today’ and let that disapproval show in your face at all times by having a permanently turned down mouth.




Tip 7: Carry all the troubles of the world on your shoulder. Hunchback is the P!!

Tip 8: This tip is for the ladies- Cover your face with 6 inches of powder, shave off all your eyebrows then draw a curved line that reaches your ears and wear lipstick that looks like war paint!! If that doesn’t get you looking ten times your age, nothing else will.

Tip 9: This last tip is for the guys: You have been called to lead the Nigerian people out of mental slavery!! So grow a Moses beard and carry a Don Jazzy stick.

Those are our 9 revolutionary tips on How to look 10 times older than your real age!!

We wonder where Miley Cyrus, singer and star of the hit TV show, Hannah Montana, who is aged 16, got her tips from.

She was recently mistaken for a 40year old woman by a shop attendant who even tried to sell her anti-wrinkle cream.


Miley Cyrus

The same woman mistook her bodyguard for her husband and her 8year old little sister for her daughter!!!

Poor Miley, see you’re not really having the best of both worlds there!!

As always, the How-to Class provides never been shared tips that will surely change your life.

Till we come again to serve you with more tips, keep being different!!!