Tip 1: Every conversation must be about you, on no account should you give them the chance to be heard; except when you pause to ask what they think about your issues
Tip 2: Make sure you top every thing they tell you with a greater experience of your own just to show that you have it better. E.g. “I just got a great job”, you say “Me I’ve been getting great jobs since..”
Tip 3: Let every word that proceeds out of thy mouth be a complaint about anything from the weather to the size of your head
Tip 4: Like Steve Urkel,
let your presence around them be known by everything getting destroyed. The plates breaking, the roof falling in…
Tip 5: Always borrow stuff from them and never return; then one day go to a friend and ask ‘Can I borrow you for 10minutes?’
Tip 6: Whenever you want their attention, no matter how busy they are, poke them hard in their sides and just keep poking
Tip 7: Sing everything to them; You’re hungry- sing it. You’re angry- Sing it. Even sing your burps and farts
Tip 8: Turn every conversation into an argument in which you are clearly not on point. Just argue for the sake of arguing.
Tip 9: Whenever you’re together, preach to them all the time and try to force your beliefs down their throats. Then insist that if they don't follow your way, they'll all perish!!
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