How to be a Nuisance on Lagos Roads

How to Be a Nuisance on Lagos Roads

(as culled from Section 'Let Lastma Catch You' of our Highway Code)

Tip 1: Seatbelts are only for people who are afraid; you are fearless and brave so seat what??


Tip 2: Entertain yourself while driving by calling Kausarat, Godspower, Darlington and the rest of your crew for the latest on Okondigbo’s baby mama drama; oh without earphones.

Tip 3: While in traffic, be sure to follow the unruly people who loudly try to get everyone else off the road so they can pass



Tip 4: This tip is for the girls and some guys: It’s more fun to apply your make-up just when the traffic light is about to go green.



Tip 5: Block the entire road when someone lightly scratches your car and take out all your frustrations on them



Tip 6: Since you’ve run out of options on places to hang out, the middle of the road is definitely the best place to play catch-up


Tip 7: Show all these one-headed people that like to pass the right way that one way is the only way.

Tip 8: Big boys and girls cannot under any circumstances stop for the red light


Tip 9: The road belongs to generations of your family, so never share it with those people who keep asking for space in front of you.

Who is the Most Talked about Nigerian Celebrity?

Who is the Most talked about Nigerian Celebrity?

The person you will absolutely stop in the middle of anything to hear the latest gist about? The person who has the most rumors about them flying all around?

What are some really ridiculous rumors you've heard about yourself?

How to be the Best Amebo in Your Area

9 Steps to being the Best Amebo in your AR-EE-AAA

Step 1: Always be on the look out for juicy material you can use.

Step 2: When you get the material, spice it up with salt, pepper, garlic and vinegar.

Step 3: Stir the concoction until it sounds perfect, even to you.

Step 4: Call someone into a corner and act as though something is bothering you.

Step 5: Emphasize that what you’re saying must remain between the two of you.

Step 6: Make sure you have the right facial expression so you look convincing.

Step 7: bring your voice down a notch or two, or preferably whisper.

Step 8: Stall a little, so it seems like it’s hard for you to say it.

Step 9: Finally, drop the bomb that would cause a wildfire as soon as it drops.

How To End A Relationship Looking Like the Bad Guy

9 Tips on How to End a Relationship looking like the Bad Guy

Tip 1: the moment you decide it’s not working, don’t talk about it with your partner, just start acting different; they’ll get the message.

Tip 2: Put your partner down at every opportunity you get so that their morale is very low as you leave

Tip 3: Ask for a break you know will never end

Tip 4: Start sending hate mail to your partner and slander him to everyone you meet.

Tip 5: Name all the things you did for your partner during the relationship and let everyone know who he/she really is

Tip 6: Get revenge on your partner by getting with someone special to him/her e.g. best friend

Tip 7: Do a J-Lo and bail out once the going gets rough.

Tip 8: Let your partner know that you never loved them, you were just passing time.

Tip 9: Show that you’ve seen the relationship as a competition the entire time by declaring yourself the ‘WINNER’

Introduction: The How-to Hour

Hello Curious People,

You’re probably wondering what this whole How-to thing is all about right? Can’t blame you, because it’s nothing like you’ve ever heard on radio ANYWHERE!!
Remember how as kids and even adults, we are told things we should do and not do that will make us responsible members of society. These were always positive tips that if you’re anything like me, you went right out and did the very opposite. I guess it’s something about human nature.
Anyway, on the How-to Hour, we give negative tips that we believe would make you want to do the positive because of the absurdity of their negativeness.
Our uniqueness lies in the fact that we employ the use of irony to communicate our ideas.
Here are a few examples of some of our past resources:

How to be the Most Annoying Person at Work/School
How to give the Worst Award Acceptance Speech
How to End a Relationship looking like the Bad Guy
How to be the Best Amebo in your Work/School/Area

These are only a few of our resources; a full update will be loaded soon.

The How-to Hour is aired every Tuesday between 10and 11am on 90.9 Top Radio. It is hosted by the vibrant and energetic Tosyn Bucknor.

It is a hilarious and informative one hour with great, great music and ridiculous, sometimes strange contributions from the listeners.
It is a fun show that equips you with all the knowledge you need to be your best self.

Will be great to hear how funny and creative you are as you join us next Tuesday from 10-11am.

Peace…
Tari Ekiyor
Content Producer